Motivation for a Righteous Life

 Every once in a while I have moments that hit me almost out of the blue that help me understand my purpose, or why I feel passionate about something, or why I'm striving to live a certain way. I've been working a 3 PM to 11 PM shift this week during our company's annual maintenance outage and I finish the work I have pretty quickly. Isn't it amazing how much you can do when you don't have interruptions?? I've been spending quite a bit of time perusing Pinterest and just a few minutes ago came across this gem.

I didn't serve a mission. There was a time last year where it was a serious question and I thought about it for weeks. I prayed A LOT because it wasn't something I had ever counted on or really wanted to do. At one point I even told some friends (amongst a lot of tears, because apparently that's what I do) that I thought I needed to go. I started mentally making a plan of how it would work and what I needed to do to make it happen. And as much as I felt that it was a good thing, I began to feel that it probably really wasn't for me. I guess what I really felt was assurance from Heavenly Father that it was MY decision and that He'd support me whether I stayed or went. 

Since moving to Georgia I've made some pretty major life changes as my standards, the way I live the Gospel and I guess the commitment I have to living a righteous life. About a year and a half ago I felt the need to make these changes and to commit to becoming the woman Heavenly Father wanted me to be. I felt a desire that was stronger than my own and with such an urgency that it couldn't wait. 

During this time I've caught glimpses of my potential and an understanding of what Heavenly Father has in store for me. After reading this quote though, the part Heavenly Fathers sending His Priesthood Army to earth and wanting to send them to mothers who have been properly trained, I felt immediately that that's part of the reason there is an urgency in my own personal preparation. 

A mission is an absolutely wonderful thing and I have the utmost respect for those who serve. They do receive training, experiences, and preparation that isn't available anywhere else. But that isn't the only way Heavenly Father prepares us. If we are living righteously we will be guided and led to make changes, to do do or be in certain places. Through the Holy Ghost we will be shown how we can improve. He will give us the experiences and training we need. Of this I have NO doubt because I've seen it in my own life.

So this post is more for me than for anyone else (I think they all are). This is why I'm doing what I'm doing.

2013 RECAP!!

I am STILL in shock that this year is gone! I knew it would go quickly; it always does when you're trying to get things done! I reported on my goals this year and it still seems crazy that I was able to accomplish them. In that post I promised to relate the things I learned, gained, lost, and loved about 2013. In no particular order, priority or meaning, here it is:

1. I LEARNED that I can set and accomplish HUGE goals!!
2. I LOVED walking with a purpose!!
3. I GAINED a TON of self-esteem!
4. I GAINED myself!! I thought I knew who I was and what I wanted. I thought I was independent. Boy, was I wrong!!
5. I LOST almost 50 pounds!!! I didn't set out to do that necessarily, but it was an AWESOME byproduct of all my walking (and taking a chance in January to join Weight Watchers). I will forever recommend both Weight Watchers and Leslie Sansone Walking Workouts!!
6. I LEARNED endurance!! In June I accidentally jumped on a nail. I managed to walk the rest of the year with a hole in my foot. I refused to see a doctor on the chance that I couldn't finish my goals. Hindsight tells me that I'm an idiot and I should have gone right after it happened. But the good thing is that I made an appointment to have it looked at as soon as I finished that last mile!!
7. I GAINED (maybe) my own apartment!!
8. I LOST some of my big fears: being alone, pain, the unknown, change (that might be a bit of an exaggeration). I still fear snakes, but that's life! The rest still cause some natural anxiety, but none of them hold me back. I'm no longer a hostage of my circumstances.
9. I GAINED a deeper and stronger testimony of Jesus Christ and of His Atonement. How incredibly grateful I am for that!!
10. I GAINED a grateful heart for the things I have.
11. I LEARNED to do with less.
12. I LEARNED that all experiences are for our benefit and learning.
13. I LEARNED a lot about family. They are SO IMPORTANT to me and I'm so blessed!
14. I LEARNED (as in memorized) "The Family: A Proclamation to the World". It is such an inspired and wonderful document. I recite it frequently and understand a bit more about our Heavenly Father's plan for us and our families. It also reminds me that having a family of my own is truly my ultimate goal!
15. I LOST my sanity a little bit. Multiple times I'm sure I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown.
16. I LEARNED that it is okay to say "no". I learned this primarily because of #15.
17. I LEARNED the importance of prioritizing and organizing.
18. I GAINED incredible insights and experience through my personal study, school, the YSA conference I attended, institute, church....you name it!
19. I LOVED the kids I've gotten to spend time with. I often feel lost in crowds, but somehow kids I know find me and make me feel so important. I LOVE that!!
20. I LEARNED how important it is to set patterns of righteous living now!!
21. I LEARNED that the words "I can't" are self defeating! So many times this year I turned around and did the very things I said I couldn't. Don't allow yourself to fall for this trap!

There are definitely more lessons, but this covers the high points! 2013 was an AMAZING experience. I'm not sure if it exhaustion setting in or gratitude in my heart for these experiences that are causing these tears creeping out my eyes. I thought "I" was setting these big goals for myself and taking steps in the right direction, and I guess that isn't untrue, but I've seen the hand of the Lord in my life as I've gone through this year. Had I not started in January with these goals, there is NO way I would have been prepared to start school, and that's only one example, there are SO many! I'm so excited to see the things that I  can accomplish in 2014. Stay tuned for the updated goal list!

My Reward - Surprise!!!

This almost feels weird, but it is my blog so I guess I'll get over it. You know that reward I mentioned for finishing 500 miles?? Well, I asked my very talented sister-in-law, RJ, to take some pictures of me.The surprise? These were for my parents for Christmas (my picture at their house was a little dated). I LOVE how these turned out!! And I think it's a pretty great reward! Can't wait to do it again...perhaps after the next 500. :)

Another One Bites The Dust

While it may sound like a negative thing, this would be in reference to yet ANOTHER goal completed this year!! I just finished reading the Standard Works today which includes the Old and New Testament, Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, and Pearl of Great Price! What an incredible journey it has been!

I am glad that I was able to finsih it around Christmas. I realized what an incredible gift it is to have the gospel of Jesus Christ restored to the earth to bless each of us! It helped me see that without the our Savior being born all those years ago, we wouldn't be where we are - I wouldn't be where I am! I am so grateful!!

Merry Christmas!!

2013 - November Recap

Here we go again!! Another month gone...and though I can't believe how quickly it's going, I'm so excited!

Walk 500 miles: I made a goal to walk 50 miles in November just to help December go a little easier (I got a little bit behind). Believe it or not, I DID IT!! That only leaves 33 miles for December...33!!!!!

Read the standard works cover to cover: I needed to make it through Doctrine & Covenants 100 and I did it too!! Only a little bit more and I'll have this one completed too!

Grow my hair out to donate it: Still hanging in there on this one!! I'm hoping by my birthday next year it will be good to go!

I can't even begin to describe how amazing it is to be this close to reaching all of these really big goals. I'm so glad I didn't give in to the voices in my head telling me to quit, or that it was too much, or for the voices of others who told me I didn't have to push it so hard, or that I made the rules and could easily change them. I did this for me, to BECOME someone more, and hopefully better, than I was before!

I'm so excited for December!!! I'm excited to finish! I'm excited to find yet another new beginning at the end of my finish line!!

2013 - October Recap

It occurs to me that I totally missed my September recap. So, before I report on October, let's do that...

SEPTEMBER:

Walk 500 miles: I only managed 33 miles. Not quite what I was planning on, but it IS better than nothing. Also note that I started school in there, so while it is still just an excuse, I feel it is pretty valid.

Read the standard works cover to cover: I was supposed to make it to Alma 36. Would you believe I only made it to Alma 35?!? Talk about LAME! I'm not sure where my brain was when I stopped reading, but I missed that one. That's okay though...and I'll tell you why in a minute.

Grow my hair out to donate: STILL growing...and I feel like it is taking forever!!!

As I mentioned, I did start school again which puts me on track to accomplish yet ANOTHER bucket list goal - graduate from college with a degree! Granted, this goal will take a bit longer than a year (by a LOT!), but at least I am on my way!!

Now to the fun stuff!!

OCTOBER:

Walk 500 miles: I made it 46 miles!!! During October I also walked my 400th mile! As of tonight (because let's face it, it's already late and there is NO way I'm working out!), I have completed 416 miles!! That is only 84 miles to go between now and December 31! It's certainly not time to get complacent...or to break a leg...but I feel like I can really do this!!

Read the standard works cover to cover: I wasn't about to pull a lame stunt like last month and miss my goal by one measly chapter. The goal was to read through Ether 15 and I made it through Moroni 6. That is a nice start to the next month, but again, it's no time to be casual. There is much work to be done!!

Grow my hair out to donate: I haven't given in yet!! And today I even took a picture!!

Yeah, that's my LONG hair. Seriously, I don't even remember the last time it was this long. If I remember correctly I need to have 8 inches before I can donate it. I'm a heck of a lot closer to reaching this goal than I was in January, but we're not out of the woods on this one. Does anyone have any good suggestions of how to make it grow faster??

School is still going well! I'm one night away from finishing one of my classes!!! YAY!! And since it's my blog and I can...I'll totally brag that I'm still pulling straight A's!! Now THAT is a HUGE improvement since the first college experience!!

Here we go...bring on November!! I'm thinking of tackling "no candy November"...I have a few hours to decide. We'll see...

A Moment to Boast

Another INCREDIBLE milestone!

 

I've lost

 

40

 

POUNDS!

 

It's the equivalent of :

 

I'm feeling great!

 

On to the next goal!

Monthly Recap - July

Good grief!! It's August! As much as I'm looking forward to the end of this year (or more accurately the beginning of next year), this is going just a bit too quickly! I'm only a couple of days late this time, so let's not waste time - let's get to work!!

Read the Standard Works cover to cover: I got behind toward the middle of the month, but I really got excited about reading again and I'm doing much better about staying on track. My desire to read has increased, and as that desire increases, so does the personal growth, revelation, and inspiration! Have I mentioned how much I LOVE the scriptures?? More on that another time. To stay on track for July I needed to make it to 2 Corinthians 13...SUCCESS!!

Walk 500 miles: Okay, here is the best thing!! I "only" completed 33 miles this month, but I think that isn't too shabby, all things considered. I'm still working on healing my foot, and I had some quirky back thing happen, so there were a LOT of bad days, but I still made 33 miles. And, even better than that?? I completed 300 MILES!! This is so much fun!!

Grow my hair for donation: I'm still hanging in there...sort of. I got a trim (I can't remember if I did that before or after my last monthly recap, so it may not be news...), but I'm really trying to tough it out. I want to do this to help someone. I want to do it to prove to myself that I can.

This has been an incredible journey, and continues to be! I'm down to the last five months...only five pages left on my wall. I could NEVER have predicted the outcomes that this year of goals has brought. But I'm so grateful!! I want to inspire others to make BIG goals and then work to make them happen. In all seriousness, if I can do it, ANYONE can do it!! Here we go with August!!

I'm Losing It



I've been debating about whether or not to post this, but I'm way to excited not to share. When I started my journey of walking 500 miles in a year, that's all it was meant to be - no goals or ulterior motives. I just wanted to prove that I could do something HUGE in my life! On January 11 I figured that by walking so much, I just might lose weight and I decided that I should document this journey with pictures, just in case that was true.

On January 23rd, I had an "aha" moment. I had never really tried to lose weight. It was always something I wanted to do, but it was too daunting to me and I didn't know how to start. I also knew I wasn't really committed to it (if you're committed you find a way...and I hadn't yet). I figured that since I was TOTALLY committed to completing my walking goal, this year would be the best chance I would ever have at TRYING to lose weight.

So, I joined Weight Watchers online and let me tell you, I was hooked from the get go. I lost 8 pounds the first two weeks and then evened out and was steadily losing 1-2 pounds per week. This truly has been an amazing journey and continues to be. This is only the beginning.

Jan 11, 2013

 Feb 3, 2013

Mar 5, 2013

 

April 26, 2013

This week officially marked 20 pounds lost...TWENTY POUNDS!! I never thought I would be able to do this, but it was pretty easy! And I'm not done yet! I feel so good! I feel happy, I have energy, I am confident in my abilities to do the things I set my mind to. This also comes after working crazy hours, eating out more than I'd like (ah, work lunches), and vacations!

I have established new habits in my life. I rarely sit and watch TV without doing some sort of exercise. I try to be home every night before 8:15 so I still have time to get in a workout before bed. I eat really good food and have found (and invented) some really strange but delicious and healthy recipes. I've also started substituting foods so I can still eat great and get more. Instead of drinking skim milk in my smoothies, I drink almond milk. Instead of regular bread or tortillas, I eat pitas (AMAZING stuffed with a stick of string cheese, turkey pepperoni, and bell peppers). I have cut out a lot of sweets but still enjoy them as often as I allow myself (about once or twice a week), but the portions are a lot smaller and I generally choose to make it as healthy as possible. I even eat fish now...and like it (as long as it isn't too fishy). Basically, I eat whatever I want, whenever I want...I just have to "budget" and it has been AWESOME!!! I'm excited to see what the next three months bring!

 

Words to Live By

I was perusing Pinterest again (oh, beloved Pinterest) and found this great quote. Hopefully by now you know how I feel about dreams - I love dreams. My dreams for my life are what keep me going and make me feel inspired. This quote struck me instantly and I felt empowered to do anything...and everything! Of course, I was just glancing and didn't think I would be writing an ode to this quote, so I didn't copy it down. So, to the best of my knowledge it went something like this...
If you're not willing to sacrifice for your dream, it's not your dream.
A lot of times when I write, not always, but often, there is some sort of back story or something that has triggered a thought and I'm like, "yeah, I should write that down". Other than finding this quote, there is no reasoning. I can't even verbalize exactly why I feel the way I do about this quote, but that won't stop me from trying. :)
Each time I say these words, I feel as if I have this entire fan club, or group of people cheering me on in my head. It's kind of a party in there all the time! Perhaps that's why I'm so easily distracted...Back to this moment, though. As I worked today and was getting frustrated with people and situations, I thought of these words and remembered that my work is a means to an end - sort of. I love to work and be busy, but I also love to play. I love to dream of trips I want to take, or other wonderful ways to spend time away. I work to be able to enjoy those dreams.
Tonight as I worked out, I was running on the treadmill which is something I NEVER do. Not even trying to be modest on that one. Running and I are not friends. On the list of things I'm not actually even supposed to do because of my back, running makes the top 3. But I'm stubborn, so I ran. I found this nifty little app for my iPod and it tells me when to run and when to walk and for how long. It's a glorious little tool. As I was running halfway through the workout, I wanted to push my speed down and walk. But each time I thought about that, I remembered these words. Was I willing to sacrifice 30 seconds of running to appease my laziness. I have a dream to be healthier - who doesn't? Was I willing to take the easy way out? Absolutely not (I may have to reconsider depending on how I feel tomorrow)! I made it.

What I Wish I Could Say

There are days when I have no words to express how or what I feel. Today as I perused the blogging world, I came across this video on Stephanie Nielsen's site. Though I'm not a wife or mother at this time, the thoughts she expresses couldn't be more true for myself. What she describes as everyday life is the life I desire most.

Until then, though, we carry on. We live the life we're in, we make decisions that will hopefully bring us closer to our goals and to the people we want to be. 

As I sit at my desk, I watch a bird sitting on the power line outside my window. As he flies away into the bright, blue sky, I feel my heart take flight, I feel as if I'm soaring. My mind begins to move, my dreams awaken again. Moving to Georgia has given me new perspective and brought more joy to my life than almost any other decision I've made thus far in my life. Today, I feel as if I'm that little bird, taking off and soaring above everything!

Communication

I have been trying very hard to be a better communicator. I know that is one area that I have always struggled with. When I’m happy I generally communicate pretty well. When I receive positive feedback, whether received by verbal or physical cues, I continue to communicate well. But if I’m in a bad mood, or if I’m not receiving any sort of positive feedback, I begin to clam up and quickly become very defensive, even if the situation does not appear to require any sort of defense.

I have been reading a book lately that had a chapter on effective communication and I made some mental notes of how in my next conflict specifically I was going to handle it better. Well, the conflict came. Lori and I were both upset with each other but neither of us was talking. She finally broke the ice and asked me what was wrong. I had been thinking about that very matter and was trying to pinpoint exactly when it was that I began to be upset because let’s face it, the minute you get upset with someone, everything else they do will bug you (please tell me I’m not alone!!). I didn’t want to bring up anything that wasn’t the problem so I was self diagnosing, only she asked me too quickly and I hadn’t quite made it back to the source of my frustration so she got the answer that I had at that moment arrived at. In my head I knew what I wanted to say and how I was going to say it. I was going to use “I” statements, I was going to keep my voice calm and level, I was not going to be accusatory. In my head, this was going to work, but the second I opened my mouth, things just started coming out and you could kiss my nice little plan good bye. I was listening to myself and was mentally telling myself to stop and get control, but it just kept coming. And then so did the tears. I wasn’t crying because I was so emotional about what the issue was. I was crying because I had failed. I knew how I wanted to react, and I didn’t. I had the correct plan in my head but I didn’t/couldn’t stick to it (still trying to determine if I chose not to or was unable to).

 I guess I shouldn’t call it a total fail, I mean, I learned some obvious lessons and have a better idea how to redirect myself. And after I had my "meltdown" I was able to explain in a calm and rational manner what it was that was frustrating to me. I’m hoping that next time, after having had this experience, I will remember what it is that I hope to accomplish and that I will start winning! 

Becoming

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about becoming the woman I want to be. In Young Women’s they taught us to make lists of what we wanted in life and who we wanted to be, what traits we wanted to possess. I always did that but then would conveniently lose the list, or I wouldn’t be committed to it. Obviously if I had a list I had the desire to make changes to become something better, but it hadn’t made it to the action phase. Recently, I’ve decided that the time for action is now. I’m great at saying “When such and such happens, then I’ll do/be…” It usually relates to becoming a wife and mother. For example, I have said “when I’m a mom, I’m going to be great at sewing”. Well, I’ve recently taken up sewing and it is not something you just pick up and do on day one. I’ve done a couple of projects and I’m learning, but I wouldn’t consider myself good, yet. I’ve learned and have decided that I want to do and be now what I want to do and be later, regardless of where I find myself in this life.  This spans all attributes from creativity, to communication, to….well, you get the idea. So, the gist of this year’s resolution list is to BECOME and may the becoming never end!