Wednesday, December 11, 2013

The Eyes Have It

It's 8:30 in the morning and I'm sitting at my desk. High ranking officials of the company are expected today and I'm running around last minute (is there any other way) attempting to finalize presentations, organize the conference room, make sure the break room isn't too disgusting. In the middle of this the copier dies, the phone is ringing off the hook, people are lined up at my desk, and I'm just trying to remember to breathe.

By 9:45 I've accomplished these various tasks, the guests have arrived, the conference room doors are shut, and I get to go about my day. I sit down at my desk and take the first relaxed breath of the morning as a coworker walks by, smiles at me and heads out the door. The pattern is repeated as she comes back in a few minutes later. Typically on her return trips she'll stop and chat for a few moments, but this morning she just smiled and kept walking. I assumed she had a lot of work to do and didn't think twice about it.

A few minutes later an email arrives from her asking if she and I are okay, and that the reason she is asking is that I was giving her the evil eye. I have this conundrum. Do I feel flattered that my friend is concerned about me and making sure I'm okay, or do I feel perturbed that this person who thinks I'm giving her the evil eye and has not made any attempt to speak to me all day feels a passive email is the right approach?

While I'm pondering these questions my mind begins to replay these interactions and wishing that I could see my face at those moments. In my mind I feel certain there was a smile on my face, a happy nod of recognition, everything "normal". Somehow my eyes weren't reflecting the same. So now my next do I change this? What I want more than anything is for the light and love of Christ to be reflected by me, especially from my eyes.

I can't do anything about this morning, evil eye or not. Right or wrong on my part or hers those moments are gone. I have an opportunity now to correct myself, and my eyes, to change my attitude, to focus on how I can love and serve those I'm with. At the end of it all, I feel grateful that a friend took a moment to give me a reality check and provided me with this learning opportunity. At the end of this day, I hope I can say I'm a little better because of it.

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