Wednesday, July 17, 2013

He's Just Not That Into You

I was looking for a new book to read over the last week or so. I was talking with some friends and in our conversation, one of them quoted a line from the movie, "He's Just Not That Into You". I haven't seen that movie, but I get the basic premise...and I love it! So, in my search for a book, I found this one. I was a little hesitant about reading movie watching and book reading standards have been raised a lot (self-induced) and I knew the movie wasn't something I would probably watch, but decided to take my chances with the book.

I will tell you here and now that there were a couple of chapters I skipped over entirely (if you know me, you'll know which ones), and some of the dating philosophies of the authors are much more casual and "worldly", I guess you can say, than those I hold. With that in mind (and substituting my own words in a few places) I LOVE this book. Mostly it made me sit and laugh at myself...and I needed that! It gave me this new phrase...girls are dumb about stupid boys (and again, I'm sure it goes both ways, but I only have this perspective...don't hate).  I KNOW there are great men who treat women well, who want healthy relationships, who don't play games. I get all of that! But in the search for these great men, women sort through a lot of sand in hopes of a piece of gold. And as they "sort" and date, they will come across men who do not value them, who are looking for a good time with no sort of committment. And the stupid thing is, and the point I felt this book was making, we (women) allow it. Not only do we allow it, we give in to it, we make excuses for it! How much better would the dating scene be if we stood up for ourselves, demanded respect and good behavior, and didn't settle for ANYTHING less??

Actually, one of the authors, Liz, says something right along this...and she says it much better than I can.

"But I do think he's right - a lot of the time- which is the most annoying part of it all. Greg is the older brother we all should have in our lives (and in our heads). He demands that men treat us better than even we think they should. We have been conditioned to expect so little, told not to be demanding, not to seem needy. But what would happen if all the women in the world listened to Greg-if we all started insisting that men keep true to their word, treat us with respect, shower us with the appropriate amount of love and affection? I think there would be an awful lot of better-behaved men in the world."

Maybe I should only have used her quote and none of my babble, but I just LOVE this!! I feel like I must make it sound like I have these awful dating and relationship experiences, but that isn't true. It is what it is. However, I see so much of this conditioning that Liz talks about in myself and I laugh at, and simultaneously kick, myself for being this way. I have a lot to learn. Look out world...this woman is on a mission. I will settle for nothing less than the best! The person I used to be took a lot of flack from people...from men. The woman I am today will not! They've tried, and I've shot them down. From here on out, it's only the best for me...and maybe you should do the same!!

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