We've been counselled to keep a journal, to write our thoughts, feelings and experiences. To be detailed and record promptings and results. I've not always been great at keeping a journal. During the times when I should have been keeping a journal and when things were really happening, I didn't (something about not wanting jinx fate...or just lazy, I don't recall). And when I didn't have much to share, I would ramble (oh wait, that's what the blog has turned into...oh well). Now I have three journals. The first is my personal journal. The one where I write all of my thoughts and feelings. The one I plan to burn so people don't have written proof/confession of my flaws and failures. The second is my "Study" journal. It started just as my book for taking notes in church and other like meetings, but now also contains all of my favorite quotes and copies of my favorite talks glued into the pages. The third is my writing journal. I'm hoping to write a book (did anyone else just cringe at the thought?) and its where I'm writing many thoughts and plans for that book. Oh, and then this lovely blog.
I absolutely HATE reading what I've written previously, especially when I was younger. If only I had know then what I know now...that's life for you. I stopped writing for a while just because of that reason, but I decided to get back to it strong in 2010/2011. Last week I was reading through one of my journals. It was July 2011. I was writing my plans to move to Georgia, trying then to determine the timeline of such a move, and the implications. I wrote questions to myself, pros and cons lists. I was so on top of it.
What is significant about this is that I claim that I started making the decision to move to Georgia in October/November. If it hadn't been for that journal, I would never have remembered that I was earnestly making preparations or trying to formulate a plan to make it happen. So when people ask me if I regret moving to Georgia for one reason or another, I have always said that regardless of any situation, I had already planned to move here. Now, I know for certain that it was in the works a full 3 months before.
It was awesome to read all of that. Every once in a while, even knowing fully that I prayed and pondered the decision to move here, and did so for several weeks (and as it turns out, months), I wonder if I made a faulty decision, or if I made it too quickly, or for the right reasons. I am so happy having written documentation for myself that I do know how to make good decisions, that I think things out thoroughly, that I was seeking divine help in making some very big decisions and was doing so in the right circumstances. So when I have hard days here, I know I really am where I'm supposed to be (stay tuned for a follow up to that).