I was watching "Once Upon a Time" last night and loved the line that said "Sometimes we need someone to remind us of who we REALLY are." I have had times in life when someone has snapped me back to reality. Tonight, the person I was a year ago gave me that push. As I've shared here recently, I am making great strides to get my life where it should be. It has meant sacrificing some things from my life; some big, some small. In all of that there is some major opposition. I know I have a loving Heavenly Father who is aware of me and knows the details of my life, but Satan also knows me. He knows my weaknesses. For me, he knows if he can make me feel depressed or discouraged, I may back down, I may look back and want things to be the way they were. Tonight was one of those nights.
The great news is that I didn't give in. I read my scriptures and "discovered" two verses that had specific application in my life, RIGHT NOW! I wanted to remember those things, so I broke out my study journal. This is the same journal I started when I moved to Utah.
The thing about the time I spent in Utah is that I learned who I wanted to be, but more importantly, I was moving down that path. Tonight I found some notes I had taken on this very subject. It was just what I needed. I'm sad to say that I am not the person I was a year ago, but I am doing everything I possibly can to get back to her and then move forward. Turns out it is really easy to become lazy, complacent, and even just content to stay where you're at. I've been reminded from my notes of the goals I have for myself, of the person I want to be, and what it is going to take to get there. Sure, going back to the way things were would be the comfortable thing, it would make the pain I feel go away to some extent, but the decisions I was making versus the decisions I am making now (and in the future) are different...better (for lack of a better term). I am making the right choices for the future me. And for that I am grateful.