Sunday, August 19, 2012

Reality Check

Have you had those moments that you just get slapped with a healthy dose of reality and an understanding of your weaknesses need of improvement? I've been having several doses over the last two weeks or so, culminating with our sacrament meeting today and a poor reaction on my part due to a different situation after that meeting. The meeting was wonderful and incredibly uplifting. It made me aware of some things I need to do, some things I need to do better, and probably most importantly, some things I need to not do.
The poor reaction was the low point of the day. Someone I love made a decision with the right goal in mind, but at a high cost, not taking into consideration the risks and how it ultimately affected other people. I didn't respond well at all. In fact, there were some incredibly harsh words and angry feelings. Trying to make someone understand that you only want whats best for them is difficult when they don't recognize the issues, or understand cause/effect and that it isn't just them. Luckily, I have wonderful people in my life who show me how I should be - more understanding, more patient, more loving. I recognized quickly that there was an apology in my future. I really don't enjoy apologizing - I try to avoid the need for it if at all possible. But I was in the wrong and I knew it, and I love this person. After some time and an excellent dose of Primary music (I love my calling - being the music leader is the BEST!! Don't believe me? Come hang with us for a week.), I was mentally, spiritually, and emotionally in a much better place. And when done with love, apologizing is a much easier and actually, a pleasant experience. There have been obligatory apologies in my past (mostly between my sister and I - lets face it, sometimes that how being a sibling is) where the apology was the "right thing" to do and was required (generally by a parent) before something else could be done. Today wasn't like that. Today I wanted to repair a relationship - I didn't want to the problem. I love this person and really do only want the best. But I realized, finally, that my love for this person needs to supersede my need for being heard. This quote by President Thomas S. Monson keeps coming to mind: "Never let a problem to be solved, become more important than a person to be loved".
So, today was a fail in some respects, but a success in others. I'd say reality check success!

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