Pondering

I've been doing some thinking - which, if you know me, is a very dangerous thing. In my pondering over the past several weeks and months, I have made plans and changed plans so many times and so quickly that it is quite difficult for me to keep up - I don't expect anyone else to either. First I was leaving, then I was staying, then I was leaving later, then not going at all. Today I'm back to feeling like I should go, I want to go. Logic keeps intruding into my thoughts and makes me think that it may be a foolish decision to drop everything good that I have going here. I have been making lists of all kinds; pros and cons of every aspect of staying or going, or waiting, or whatever else may have slipped into my mind at the time.
During General Conference I really began thinking about life and the decisions that I was/am facing. It was Elder Steven E. Snow's talk that really got me going and got me incredibly excited, even confident in my decision that indeed, it is time for me to get on with my life. I haven't remained at home out of pure convenience, although it has helped enormously (thanks mom and dad!), or out of fear of doing something else (well, maybe a little), the timing has just been right. I needed to be at home to figure some things out, to figure out who I am and what I want out of my life. I have had some incredible experiences here, I love my job and have received a great education in the work force. The time has come though, to get on with my life, to do something. I still don't know what the right decision for me is. I have applications in and I'm making plans as if I were doing both and I hope that whatever is holding me back from making the decision that I want/need will either disappear, or I'll know how to conquer it. This may be one of those times that I take a step in the dark, that leap of faith, and proceed with my life.
Until I get my thoughts sorted, I feel I must escape from my thoughts, at least for a bit, and resume the current life and responsibilities that I have. Besides, I have a conference call in an hour, lunch to eat, and work to do. Duty calls - thank goodness!
Happy Friday! I hope you have some great weekend plans.