Saturday, November 28, 2009


About a year ago at this time, I had some big plans in the works. Looking back today, I can only remember two of them off the top of my head. I was going to move and I was going to start school again. Well, I started school in September and I still find myself here. When I made the decision to stay here, keep my job, and do school part time, it really felt like the right thing to do at the time. It was just a couple of months ago, but I've started wondering how long it will continue to be the right thing to do.
I feel this longing in my heart for something more, and I don't know quite how to achieve it. Is it just a funk that, after a few days, I'll get over or is it something deeper than that? If I look back over my life in 5, 10, or 50 years, will I regret staying here longer? Would I regret it more if I leave? Should I be looking to do something different than what I am doing now? Should I stay and ride it out? It seems like such a vicious cycle. I'm not looking for any specific answer, just putting it out there.

On a much lighter note, Christmas has come to our house. The tree is up and decorated, there are lights and extra candles; it now 'feels' like Christmas. When I was younger, Christmas seemed to be all about me and what I could get out of it. As I've gotten older, and this year in particular, I am seeing opportunities to share and give. I think it's important to keep Christ at the center of Christmas and I personally hope to maintain that attitude, not only through this season, but all year long.

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