Goat Love

Because sometimes you just need some extra lovin'. :)

Happy Friday!

Discover the book!

Have you ever tasted something so incredibly delicious that you just HAD to share it with EVERYONE!! It didn't matter who it was. If you could get someones attention you had to tell them how good it was! You hear the person at the table across from you order the same item and you lean over and tell them they made an absolutely AMAZING choice because you've already tasted it and you know just how good it really is!!

I've been that person, and I've also had people try to share amazing things with me. There have been times (especially in my really picky phase) that people would try to share an incredible treat with me, but because I was afraid of some of the ingredients, or because I wasn't familiar with what was really in it, I wouldn't even take a taste. And really, what was the worst thing that could have happened? I could have taken a bite, hated it, and spit it out (which, incidentally, is EXACTLY what happened with sushi). But I did try it. In recent history, as people have recommended food to me I have at least sampled it. In almost all cases I end up liking it to one degree or another (I tried frog legs on Saturday...didn't love them - they tasted like fishy-chicken!). Regardless of if I really love it, only tolerate it, or completely despise it, I'm grateful that someone wanted to share what they had with me. 

There is something else in my life that I love even more than food! It's The Book of Mormon!! There are people who, like me, think it is TOTALLY amazing because we have "tasted" it! There are others who feel indifferent, and there are those who are afraid of what may be inside or who are afraid (like me with sushi) that you may actually end up liking it one day and what that might mean (sushi, to me, is an expensive habit - I'm okay if I don't end up loving it any time soon). :)

Inside this book I find another testimony of Jesus Christ. I learn more of His teachings, His ministry, of His love for all of His children. This is a record of the people who lived on the American continent before, during, and after Christ's earthly ministry. Just as was prophesied that a new star would appear at the time of Jesus' birth, so it was prophesied in the America's. 

Signs were also prophesied about His crucifixion. After He was crucified, the risen Lord not only appeared to the people in Jerusalem, Galilee, and other areas, but He also visited the people in the America's!

As I read and study both the Bible and the Book of Mormon I gain clearer insight and understanding! They work together to testify of Jesus Christ. They work together to bring all men, women, and children to a knowledge of His love, sacrifice, and mission to bring each of us eternal life. But we have to be willing to take the first step.

So, here is my invitation for you to try something new! I invite you to "taste", as it were, the most delicious treat EVER! One of my most favorite chapters in The Book of Mormon is 3 Nephi 11. This is the chapter in which Christ appears to the Nephites (the people who lived on the American continent). I love the feeling of peace that I get as I read about Christ descending out of Heaven and into the midst of the people. I hope as you sample it that you enjoy it as much as I do. If you'd like a free copy of The Book of Mormon, leave me a message!

#discoverthebook

Orlando Trip

Have I ever mentioned how wonderful life really is? Even with all of its ups and downs it is amazing!

I started writing out what we’ve been up to but, as usual, it’s WAY too wordy (surprise, surprise)! So, here are the highlights:

•  We stopped at “the Small” (Waycross has a mall but it has all of about 6 stores, so the “Small” it is) to buy a few last minute necessities for the trip.
•  We stopped in Jacksonville to visit a family friend who was in the hospital. Unfortunately we didn’t get to see him, but we got to spend some time chatting with his sweet daughter, Heather, who we haven’t seen in over 10 years! So fun to catch up with her!
• We had time to kill before the dance so we went to the pool and swam/lounged for a while in the evening sunshine (have I mentioned how much I love Florida for that?).
•  We went to a dance, learned a new dance, made new friends, and just had fun!
•  We took night pictures of the temple (read: Lori took pictures and I drove slowly once in the car…we’re a good team)
•  We attended the temple on Saturday morning…as always, the most perfect and peaceful place on earth. I love being at or in the temple.
• We drove to Lakeland for a devotional with Elder Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and Elder Rasband of the Seventy. AMAZING! (A post with highlights from that will be forthcoming).
• Before the meeting we ate the most AMAZING Thai food ever!! It was so good we went back for dinner with friends!
• We saw our former Young Women’s leader, Sister Bailey, and got to chat with her.
• We got to visit (and eat dinner with) our friend Erin from Pennsylvania. She lives in Miami now and came up for this meeting too. 
• We went to Lake Morton to feed the ducks, geese, and swans (we used to to that often when we lived in Lakeland).
• We watched (I listened) to the movie “The Saratov Approach” on the way home. It was a really intense movie, especially on the dark roads, but certainly kept me awake. We did great until I missed one of the exits in Jacksonville and then missed the alternate and we ended up taking an extra HOUR to get home. I was not a very happy camper. Lori rescued me and let me be the passenger for the last hour.

It was awesome!! We did all of this in 36 hours and put over 600 miles on my car, and I wouldn’t trade it for a minute!

Enjoy a few pictures. :)

Feeding the ducks at Lake Morton

Lori and I

Worlds collided: Sister Bailey (FL), me (GA), and Erin (PA).

Orlando Temple

Me, Lori, and Erin

Lori and I

Orlando Temple at night

Sky writing we saw right after leaving the temple Saturday morning. The message? Love God!

Best Thai food EVER!

Thanks to Lori for the pictures. :)

This and That

Since my last couple of posts I've found that I don't have much to say on the blog. Part of it may be out of fear for exposing that side of myself, though it is the more minor side of myself (what do I say now??). Part of it is the reality that yes, I am imperfect and that is PERFECTLY normal! We all have issues of some kind. Some people face their demons publicly...others in the quiet moments of their lives. Since writing these things down, reading other blogs and articles, and listening to uplifting talks, I've discovered peace. It truly has come as I've turned to Jesus Christ. It is through Him that I am able to accept my imperfections, to strive daily to do a little better, and to pick myself up again and again as I inevitably fall. That is incredible!

On a lighter note, we celebrated Mother's day yesterday. Lori and I decided to splurge on one BIG gift for the entire family this year. It was going to be given as a Mother's day gift, but instead we gifted it on Friday night as an early Mother's/Father's/Birthday for everyone. Each person got to open an envelope containing a ticket to the Celtic Thunder concert in Jacksonville in November! We're all just a little excited about this. Have you heard of them? Check out a couple of my favorites! We're groupies!!

Ahh, sigh, amazing!! Have an amazing week everyone! Check back soon for some fun posts of some upcoming activities!

A Healthy Dose of Honesty - Part 2

In my previous post I wrote about my struggle with what I call undiagnosed depression and a food addiction. I've been learning a lot as I go through this and I've turned to my Savior for His help because I've come to realize in a way I've not previously known that I am truly nothing and can do nothing without His help. I've been listening to talks from various church leaders, uplifting music, and reading inspiring messages.

Today I "happened" (can we say "tender mercy"?) to see this post on Facebook. I'm glad I found this for a couple of reasons.

1. It helped me see that I'm truly not alone. Not only is Jesus with me on this, but there is at LEAST one other person who, though the reasons for our addictions are not the same, we share a very similar experience.
2. It helped me to share what I wrote the day following a terrible night. I had initially written it just to keep for myself to look back on and remember and learn from. But I needed to share it; it's not always about keeping up appearances. Sometimes I need to be REALLY real.
3. It helped me to feel that I can make this. I'm not perfect, far from it in fact. Actually, I found her story as I had just finished shoveling some candy in my mouth. Talk about a guilt trip, but it wasn't the bad kind where I berated myself. It was the kind where I openly realize that I made a choice, that I can correct it, I'm still loved, and though I slipped (again) I'm still trying.

Thank you Becca A., wherever you are, for taking the time to share your experience!

A Healthy Dose of Honesty

If you’ve ever tried to overcome an addiction or a bad habit of any kind, you know that it can be a joyful experience in terms of progress, but it can also be very challenging and frustrating as you slip back into old ways and feel a sense of failure. I’ve been going through my own hard time recently. Below is what I wrote the day after one of these hard times.  

It's 6:15 AM, my alarm goes off and I am instantly dreading the day. I try to think of the good things that are worth getting out of bed for, but I feel no motivation. I put on some peppy, happy music in hopes that it will help lift my spirits. It works, I crawl out of bed and wander to my closet/bathroom/vanity (it’s all the same area anyway). I look at myself in the mirror and try to smile, but all I see is pain in my eyes. It takes about 10 minutes for me to feel truly motivated to get ready for the day. By now I’ve started listening to the Book of Mormon and I’m feeling peace and love and all of a sudden feel that I might actually make it through this day. I notice that I haven’t made my bed and do that before I remember that I need to say my morning prayers (that is actually planned; I find that if my bed is made I leave my room without thinking about praying). I kneel to pray, give thanks for my blessings and for the opportunities I have, and ask for help to just be kind to others and to myself, to feel peace and for help to fight the internal struggles I’m facing.

I make it through a great day. I smile and feel good for most of the day, though if I’m not careful my internal feelings begin to surface and threaten to destroy my peace. I fight harder to continue smiling and not let anyone know what I’m feeling. I’m determined to keep my mood and attitude level, knowing that if I falter too far to one side or the other I will not only lose this peace I’ve fought to keep, but also feel that I’ll turn one more time to food for consolation. 

Everyone sees the outside smile, hears the answer that “it’s a great day”, and sees the results from over a year of watching my weight and working out. Inside is a constant struggle to maintain that appearance. What people don’t know is that I fight what I call undiagnosed depression. I’m afraid to talk to a doctor because I’m afraid of being prescribed meds when I feel I should be able to handle this. I feel the darkness closing around me and I know I have to fight that much harder. 

The other night I felt this coming on again. I was fighting and felt I had really won. But in a moment I found myself feeling frantic as I downed a large-ish bag of M&M’s. The whole time I told myself to put them down, to walk away, to go work out, to call mom, to do ANYTHING that would keep me from doing what I knew I would regret. But now it was too late. I stood in my kitchen holding an empty container, instantly hating myself for giving in when I know I can be (and have been) strong and resist these ridiculous temptations. 

I’m supposed to walk 5 miles that night, but all I can bring myself to do is sit in my chair and cry. I cry because I’ve given in to my weakness, I’ve ignored my conscience, I’ve hurt my body and not done what I know I should have done. I cry because I want to be better but feel so lost. I cry because I’ve done better in the past and feel like I’m failing consistently now, that I’ve lost what I worked so hard to gain.

It’s in this moment that I feel like I need to read or listen to something. I open the addiction recovery plan found in the LDS Library. I’ve looked at the first chapter before when I felt that I food was becoming my addiction but I hadn’t done anything more with it. I begin reading the text, reading the scriptures it points to, and answering the questions posed. I begin to feel the light of hope, to feel the Spirit telling me that I’m okay, that I can begin again, and that this moment and these feelings don’t have to be permanent. 

I watch the video entitled “Because of Him” and I cry again, this time because I KNOW that I’m not doomed, destined to feel a failure, or alone. I KNOW that because of Him I can repent and change, and apply the atonement of Christ to change my heart and help me overcome these things I struggle with.

Then I watch a Mormon Message entitled “The Savior Wants to Forgive” and then listen to a program called “Conversations” (both found on the Mormon Channel). I listened to two episodes, the first by Elder Rasband of the Seventy and his wife, and then with Brother and Sister Howell whose son Brady was killed in the attack on the Pentagon on 9/11. As I listen I feel further inspired to get up and be productive. I have guests coming the next day and my house is a disaster area. I start to clean and organize and the words “a house of order” come to mind (from a scripture found in Doctrine & Covenants 109:8) and I feel the Spirit surround me. 

After previous times of binge eating I’ve emptied my cupboards and taken away all temptation, but this time is different. I begin to see that completely prohibiting myself only leads me to binge more later, so as I listen to the story of the Howell’s and how they coped with the loss of their son I package small portions of all the remaining snacks in my cupboard (even the raisins…turns out I love raisins!!). As I’m doing this I feel/think of the words from this same scripture verse in Doctrine & Covenants, “Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing”, and once again I feel the Spirit touch my heart.

It’s now almost 10 o’clock and I need to be getting ready for bed. I go to my room and start my night routine. As I stare into the mirror I see my red eyes and tear-stained face, I have a different feeling. I feel that I’m worth it. I feel like I have hope and a desire to begin anew tomorrow. I feel like it’s all going to be okay. A thought pops in my mind that I have window markers laying around someone and I begin the hunt. I need to do this. I find the markers and return to my mirror. I write “Because of Him…” on the glass and stand there and allow thoughts of what I can do and be because of Him to flow through my mind. I begin writing a few on the mirror. I smile, looking again at myself in the mirror and noting the light in my eyes that has seemed to be absent for some time. I know that tomorrow is going to be a great day. And it isn’t just something I’ll say, it’s something I truly feel.

Doctrine & Covenants 109:8: Organize yourselves; prepare every needful think, and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God.

...Then I Would Walk 500 More

Here we go again! Last year I set a goal to walk 500 miles in a year (if you missed it you can read a bit about that experience here, here, or here). In 2014 I attempted to give myself a bit of a break and committed to working out a minimum of 30 minutes 4 -6 times per week and I've done pretty well, but I've been feeling like I needed to push myself again, to set another REALLY big goal. And here it is...

Between now (being April 19...I'm a little behind) and my birthday on August 11 I want to walk ANOTHER 500 miles! I have 113 days to pull this off which means roughly 5 miles per day. I know I'll have to do a bit extra to reach this because I take Sundays off, but I'm really EXCITED about this.

But there is something that excites me even MORE!! One of my vendors came in today. I haven't seen him in several months and he noticed that I had lost some weight (always nice to hear) and we began chatting about how I had done it. Then I told him about this new goal and he's going to do it with me!! He lives a few states away but he is going to track his miles as well.

But it doesn't end there!! A few coworkers heard the two of us talking and after he left came around the corner asking if we were really going to take this challenge. I then invited them to join us as well and now our group is up to four!! In fact, three of us are going to start walking on our lunch break (who knew there was a track less than a mile from our office??)!

So here is YOUR invitation!! You don't have to walk 500 miles, and you don't have to have the August 11 deadline that we have. You may not want to have a fitness goal, perhaps your personal need is an earlier bed time, or portion control, of more service time. Whatever it is for YOU, set a goal today! But if you do want to join our walking group, lace up those shoes and get ready! Here in southern Georgia it's about to get REALLY sweaty!

I would love to hear what you are doing! Visit my other blog, leave a comment and let me know!