Dad and the Case of the Invisible Ketchup (and Other Tales from the Recovery Room)

Last Monday, my dad had shoulder surgery.  If you’ve ever been with anyone coming out of anesthesia, you are likely aware of what a great time it can be. For the record, this man is HILARIOUS!! Let’s start with my favorite…shall we?

Before he went into surgery, dad told mom that he wanted a hamburger and French fries waiting for him once he got to his room. So, being the wonderful woman she is (and the hungry people we were), we went and picked up his request (and dinner for ourselves). When we got back to the hospital, he was already there waiting for us. He was clearly still under the influence of the anesthesia, but was alert and hungry (the poor guy told everyone that came in the room that he hadn’t been able to eat anything since about 9 pm the day before – about 7 pm at this point…almost 24 hours). We got his dinner set up on the tray; hamburger wrapped for easy one handed eating; fries in a convenient little box, and ketchup in small container to eliminate some of the mess.  He made it through the burger just fine, but was getting really tired by the time he really tried to concentrate on the fries.

He would grab a couple of fries and then fall asleep before they made it to his mouth. I was concerned about him getting ketchup everywhere, so trying to be responsible, I threw the container away and told mom that we would open another one when we woke up again, or so we planned…

(Please tell me I don't sound like this in person...please??)
And in case you're wondering, he did this for about 30 minutes!

After he finished his dinner, the nurse brought in his dinner plate. He was concerned about appearing ungrateful or too picky, so he insisted that he eat some. We fed him a bit of the cabbage and some of the rice and gravy. Mom asked him if he wanted the pears that were on the tray. There were only two pieces (somewhere between thirds and halves) in the cup and mom started feeding them to him. He finished them off in about 4 or 5 bites, but on his last bite, he started fussing and asking where all the pears were coming from; that he had already eaten a gallon of them and asking what we were trying to do to him.

Another point during the evening, he fell asleep and mom and I were just sitting there talking. Without any warning, the man opened his eyes and “sang” a couple of the words to the song “Pontoon” by Little Big Town. The song says “on the pontoon”. Well, under the effects of anesthesia, dad sang “I’m a pontoon”. I had to bury my face in his bed to keep from laughing out loud and eventually had to excuse myself for a moment. He did this twice during the evening. When we got him home the next day, he told us he heard that song shortly before he went into surgery. I guess he just had it on his mind.

The last really good story (at least to me) was trying to find him something to watch on TV. Monday and Thursday nights are his nights to watch wrestling. So, in the hospital, we located the TV guide and determined which channel would provide his entertainment for the evening. Would you believe that out of all the available channels, the one channel he wanted wasn’t enabled? I broke news that there would be no wrestling for him that night. He was soooo disappointed and very unhappy, but fell asleep mid conversation, so we put something else on while he slept. Not even five minutes later he woke up again and asked me to put wrestling on. I reminded him (or so I thought) that the channel was unavailable. There is a good possibility he was more disappointed the second time hearing the news than the first. It was almost pathetic and I felt like I should have had some alternative solution, but alas I had none.

In case you’re wondering, he is doing very well. He’s going a little stir crazy having his arm strapped to his side and doing everything one handed, but he’s a trooper. Depending on his recovery, he’ll likely have the other shoulder done in about three months. You had better believe I’m taking the day off and charging the batteries in my camera…we’re not missing anything next time. J