Sometimes my mom and I have deep, meaningful conversations. Some days it's pure silliness. Every once in a while we unearth a true gem of wisdom. As it turns out, we think this is REALLY wise (it had to be divine inspiration).
In a conversation with a friend I was asked if I felt "older and wiser" on my birthday to which I commented on the fact that I was studying in school and felt I was doing pretty well. He retorted with something like "it's interesting that people who gain knowledge think they have become wise". It was sort of a new thought for me (not that I ever considered myself wise, but rather I always used those words synonymously).
Driving together one day I shared this with mom and we started a discussion on knowledge verses wisdom. Here is the ultimate piece of WISDOM we discovered (though I personally think I must still be at "knowledge" with this one).
Knowledge is recognition of a need to change or improve. Wisdom is the implementation of said change or improvement.
So, are you knowledgeable or wise, or both? I want to hear your thoughts. Ready? Go!
Friday, December 5, 2014
Keeping This One Short
Rough day.
Prayed for chocolate.
Received chocolate.
Should have prayed for self-control instead.
Eh, I live and learn. And yes, it was AMAZINGLY good chocolate! :)
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
Grateful - No Matter What
Dear Blog,
You poor, neglected thing, you. So much has happened. There have been really high highs, and really low lows. There have been classes taken, a sister married, depression experienced, both positive and negative changes at work, friendships renewed, relationships strengthened, guilt that has become overwhelming, panic attacks, holidays, bonfires, and so much more.
I won't even attempt to try to cover all of this lost time (shameful). I must say, first and foremost, that as hard as some of these lows have been and continue to be, life is so wonderful! These trials and struggles are not a bad thing, it's part of the package deal we call life.
To that end, I have been writing more notes and thoughts to cope with a variety of situations. In the past I've coined the term "undiagnosed depression". I'm still going to use that phrase because, as of yet, I've not sought medical treatment (I'm more scared of the doctor than the disease, if that makes any sense). I was close to making an appointment but I heard one voice above all the others supporting me in that path that told me I had no reason to be depressed and that somehow I was using this "depression" (his phrasing, not mine) as an excuse. Naturally, my defiant and rebellious side now has a point to prove. Please understand that for anyone else dealing with depression, if you feel you need medical help, do it!! Do not delay! (I know, great hypocritical advice). I will tell you that I'm keeping much closer tabs on myself and have been dealing better with life as a whole. I will also tell you that at the next severe dip that lasts longer than a "bad day" or two, the appointment is being made. I'll share a bit more behind that thought another time.
Today is all about gratitude in our trials. I suffered for several weeks with what I'm sure was my undiagnosed depression and possibly anxiety. I couldn't shake the dark clouds over me, I cried for hours on end (very unlike me) and had what I'm certain now (hindsight is 20/20, you know) were panic attacks sitting huddled on my bedroom floor. If I were an artist to any degree, I would draw a picture of heavenly angels trying to buoy me up during these times, but evil, dark cloth literally smothering me and putting out the light.
The world has flipped again, and the dark side is back where it belongs; beneath me. The light I know and love is once again above and around me. There is a song in my heart again. There is a smile behind the smile again.
Those weeks were hard. Really hard. I don't share this lightly or jokingly. It's not easy for me to admit that I struggle this way. For being as independent as I like to think I am, dealing with depression has shaken me to the core. During those times I didn't want to go to work, or exercise, or study, or craft. I didn't want to be around people, but I was scared to be alone. Really, I just wanted to run away and hide. I ignored my phone and emails for days on end, only feeling more guilty every time I looked at it and realizing there were messages awaiting my response. But I just couldn't do it. I was in a pit and I couldn't get out.
Fast forward to a couple of days ago. A good friend of mine was over and we were catching up on life over several months. He told me about the depression he had been facing regarding school and life and how hard it was for him. I looked at him and felt something I'd never felt before. I felt this overwhelming sense of GRATITUDE for my own struggles. While we have had different experiences and situations, at the core of it all we'd been experiencing the same thing. How amazing and comforting it was to me to look at him and be able to say, "I KNOW what you're feeling". It wasn't a trite comment to try to provide support. It wasn't any sort of competition. It wasn't attention seeking. I was grateful to have had these experiences that we could share together and encourage one another.
It was in that moment that I realized that there is someone else that KNOWS exactly what I feel. Jesus Christ suffered not only for my sins, but for all my pains, afflictions, sorrows...everything!! He knows my deepest lows, and He rejoices in my highest highs! I KNOW that He KNOWS me!
One final thought:
You poor, neglected thing, you. So much has happened. There have been really high highs, and really low lows. There have been classes taken, a sister married, depression experienced, both positive and negative changes at work, friendships renewed, relationships strengthened, guilt that has become overwhelming, panic attacks, holidays, bonfires, and so much more.
 |
| Joseph and Lori's wedding - October 18, 2014 |
To that end, I have been writing more notes and thoughts to cope with a variety of situations. In the past I've coined the term "undiagnosed depression". I'm still going to use that phrase because, as of yet, I've not sought medical treatment (I'm more scared of the doctor than the disease, if that makes any sense). I was close to making an appointment but I heard one voice above all the others supporting me in that path that told me I had no reason to be depressed and that somehow I was using this "depression" (his phrasing, not mine) as an excuse. Naturally, my defiant and rebellious side now has a point to prove. Please understand that for anyone else dealing with depression, if you feel you need medical help, do it!! Do not delay! (I know, great hypocritical advice). I will tell you that I'm keeping much closer tabs on myself and have been dealing better with life as a whole. I will also tell you that at the next severe dip that lasts longer than a "bad day" or two, the appointment is being made. I'll share a bit more behind that thought another time.
Today is all about gratitude in our trials. I suffered for several weeks with what I'm sure was my undiagnosed depression and possibly anxiety. I couldn't shake the dark clouds over me, I cried for hours on end (very unlike me) and had what I'm certain now (hindsight is 20/20, you know) were panic attacks sitting huddled on my bedroom floor. If I were an artist to any degree, I would draw a picture of heavenly angels trying to buoy me up during these times, but evil, dark cloth literally smothering me and putting out the light.
The world has flipped again, and the dark side is back where it belongs; beneath me. The light I know and love is once again above and around me. There is a song in my heart again. There is a smile behind the smile again.
Those weeks were hard. Really hard. I don't share this lightly or jokingly. It's not easy for me to admit that I struggle this way. For being as independent as I like to think I am, dealing with depression has shaken me to the core. During those times I didn't want to go to work, or exercise, or study, or craft. I didn't want to be around people, but I was scared to be alone. Really, I just wanted to run away and hide. I ignored my phone and emails for days on end, only feeling more guilty every time I looked at it and realizing there were messages awaiting my response. But I just couldn't do it. I was in a pit and I couldn't get out.
Fast forward to a couple of days ago. A good friend of mine was over and we were catching up on life over several months. He told me about the depression he had been facing regarding school and life and how hard it was for him. I looked at him and felt something I'd never felt before. I felt this overwhelming sense of GRATITUDE for my own struggles. While we have had different experiences and situations, at the core of it all we'd been experiencing the same thing. How amazing and comforting it was to me to look at him and be able to say, "I KNOW what you're feeling". It wasn't a trite comment to try to provide support. It wasn't any sort of competition. It wasn't attention seeking. I was grateful to have had these experiences that we could share together and encourage one another.
It was in that moment that I realized that there is someone else that KNOWS exactly what I feel. Jesus Christ suffered not only for my sins, but for all my pains, afflictions, sorrows...everything!! He knows my deepest lows, and He rejoices in my highest highs! I KNOW that He KNOWS me!
One final thought:
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Did You Think To Pray?
Tonight I was studying about prayer. Jesus commanded us to pray always. I really liked this quote from President Henry B. Eyring:
"I am not wise enough to know all of His purposes in giving us a covenant to always remember Him and in His warning us to pray always lest we be overcome. But I know one. It is because He knows perfectly the powerful forces that influence us and also what it means to be human. ...
"...He knows what it is like to have the cares of life press in upon us. ...And He knows how our human powers to cope are not constant. ...
"...As the forces around us increase in intensity, whatever spiritual strength was once sufficient will not be enough. And whatever growth in spiritual strength we once thought was possible, greater growth will be made available to us. Both the need for spiritual strength and the opportunity to acquire it will increase at rates which we underestimate at our peril. ...
"Start with remembering Him. you will remember what you know and what you love. ...
"The Lord hears the prayers of your heart. The feelings of your heart, of love for our Heavenly Father and for His Beloved Son, can be so constant that your prayers will ascend always" ("Always" [CES fireside for young adults, Jan.3,1999])
Click here to see a 2 minute video entitled "I Pray When..." I didn't think to take a picture (and forgive me, I'm not really in the mood at this moment), but I pray when I feel alone. I pray when I feel troubled and confused. I pray when I feel happy and loved. I pray when I need help. When do you pray?
"I am not wise enough to know all of His purposes in giving us a covenant to always remember Him and in His warning us to pray always lest we be overcome. But I know one. It is because He knows perfectly the powerful forces that influence us and also what it means to be human. ...
"...He knows what it is like to have the cares of life press in upon us. ...And He knows how our human powers to cope are not constant. ...
"...As the forces around us increase in intensity, whatever spiritual strength was once sufficient will not be enough. And whatever growth in spiritual strength we once thought was possible, greater growth will be made available to us. Both the need for spiritual strength and the opportunity to acquire it will increase at rates which we underestimate at our peril. ...
"Start with remembering Him. you will remember what you know and what you love. ...
"The Lord hears the prayers of your heart. The feelings of your heart, of love for our Heavenly Father and for His Beloved Son, can be so constant that your prayers will ascend always" ("Always" [CES fireside for young adults, Jan.3,1999])
Click here to see a 2 minute video entitled "I Pray When..." I didn't think to take a picture (and forgive me, I'm not really in the mood at this moment), but I pray when I feel alone. I pray when I feel troubled and confused. I pray when I feel happy and loved. I pray when I need help. When do you pray?
Monday, August 18, 2014
Be Where You Are
I have been doing a lot of thinking the last several months. A lot of that thinking was an attempt to move myself somewhere else, or to make a change to have more of a social life. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I don’t always think it matters where we live as long as we’re doing the best to follow the gospel of Jesus Christ. But every once in a while it actually does matter. Each time I would seriously think about a change I’d be redirected. For some reason at this time in my life, I’m EXACTLY where I need to be.
I’ve been giving this some thought and trying to determine
what greater purpose I have to be here now. This weekend it hit me, and it hit
me hard! The Young Single Adult program here is basically non-existent. As I
thought about it, I realized that at best, if nothing were to change, I have 2
years left in the YSA program and then I’m done. I realized that I have an opportunity
in this small window of time to make a difference. There are a LOT of people in
this group and the majority of them aren’t coming to anything! This group is
slipping away. This isn’t about me. This is about Heavenly Father and the fact that
He works in the details of our lives. I needed a way to connect with people, to
have a purpose. I’ve spoken with others who have been in need of some help to
get things going. I hope to be able to help those who are struggling.
I’ve been thinking about my life and my situation all wrong.
I’ve been worried about me, about my situation, what I want and need. What I’ve
needed to focus my energy on are the people around me, and those especially
that I don’t know yet. That’s who I’ve always wanted to be but haven’t put
forth the effort. Well, that changes now. From now on, instead of just living
here, I’m really going to BE here. I’ve been brought to this place for a reason
and I’m just now catching a glimpse of what that is. I know as I make a valiant
effort to keep the commandments the Lord will bless me to be an instrument in
His hands.
Friday, June 13, 2014
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Discover the book!
Have you ever tasted something so incredibly delicious that you just HAD to share it with EVERYONE!! It didn't matter who it was. If you could get someones attention you had to tell them how good it was! You hear the person at the table across from you order the same item and you lean over and tell them they made an absolutely AMAZING choice because you've already tasted it and you know just how good it really is!!
I've been that person, and I've also had people try to share amazing things with me. There have been times (especially in my really picky phase) that people would try to share an incredible treat with me, but because I was afraid of some of the ingredients, or because I wasn't familiar with what was really in it, I wouldn't even take a taste. And really, what was the worst thing that could have happened? I could have taken a bite, hated it, and spit it out (which, incidentally, is EXACTLY what happened with sushi). But I did try it. In recent history, as people have recommended food to me I have at least sampled it. In almost all cases I end up liking it to one degree or another (I tried frog legs on Saturday...didn't love them - they tasted like fishy-chicken!). Regardless of if I really love it, only tolerate it, or completely despise it, I'm grateful that someone wanted to share what they had with me.
There is something else in my life that I love even more than food! It's The Book of Mormon!! There are people who, like me, think it is TOTALLY amazing because we have "tasted" it! There are others who feel indifferent, and there are those who are afraid of what may be inside or who are afraid (like me with sushi) that you may actually end up liking it one day and what that might mean (sushi, to me, is an expensive habit - I'm okay if I don't end up loving it any time soon). :)
Inside this book I find another testimony of Jesus Christ. I learn more of His teachings, His ministry, of His love for all of His children. This is a record of the people who lived on the American continent before, during, and after Christ's earthly ministry. Just as was prophesied that a new star would appear at the time of Jesus' birth, so it was prophesied in the America's.
Signs were also prophesied about His crucifixion. After He was crucified, the risen Lord not only appeared to the people in Jerusalem, Galilee, and other areas, but He also visited the people in the America's!
As I read and study both the Bible and the Book of Mormon I gain clearer insight and understanding! They work together to testify of Jesus Christ. They work together to bring all men, women, and children to a knowledge of His love, sacrifice, and mission to bring each of us eternal life. But we have to be willing to take the first step.
So, here is my invitation for you to try something new! I invite you to "taste", as it were, the most delicious treat EVER! One of my most favorite chapters in The Book of Mormon is 3 Nephi 11. This is the chapter in which Christ appears to the Nephites (the people who lived on the American continent). I love the feeling of peace that I get as I read about Christ descending out of Heaven and into the midst of the people. I hope as you sample it that you enjoy it as much as I do. If you'd like a free copy of The Book of Mormon, leave me a message!
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